


Thirteen Dorks and a Baby

by Swanny_Writer



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: (high-key jealous mess wonwoo), Alternate Universe - High School, Attempt at Humor, Chan misses a lot of action bc of class booo, Coups needs to learn how to control his kids, Crack, Eat!Vernon makes a comeback, Fluff, Gossip hungry Jeonghan & Seungkwan, Grumpy!Wonwoo, Gyu just wants Hao to notice him, I don't even know how to tag this, Jisoo is always so supportive, M/M, Seokmin is too innocent for this, So much crack..., Text Messages/Chat Transcripts, Woozi just wants ppl to show up to rehearsals on time, soft!jun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 08:04:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11353290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swanny_Writer/pseuds/Swanny_Writer
Summary: Wonwoo and Jun are paired up for a project, and their friends think it's the perfect opportunity to set them up(Or the one where the fic is entirely told through chat transcripts, and WonHui get a baby)





	Thirteen Dorks and a Baby

**Author's Note:**

  * For [caeruluslapis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/caeruluslapis/gifts).



> To SJ for requesting a crack fic told through texts. I made it into a chat history instead. I hope that's ok.
> 
>  
> 
> Please forgive me for this... thing. 
> 
> ( ﾉ ﾟｰﾟ)ﾉ
> 
>  
> 
> Screen names:
> 
> -Jun: ☾Meown_Junnie
> 
> -Wonwoo: Books>Life
> 
> -Jihoon: Woozi_Music1122
> 
> -Soonyoung: St★rsHosh@10:10
> 
> -Seungcheol: ♕Great_Leader_Coups
> 
> -Jeonghan: Angel♡Hannie
> 
> -Jisoo: TheJoshMan:
> 
> -Seokmin: Mr_Sunshine☀
> 
> -Mingyu: GyuTheBest
> 
> -Minghao: Infinite-Snark
> 
> -Seungkwan: FaBOOlous_kwan
> 
> -Hansol: Hansol&GreatAL
> 
> -Chan: Dinos_R_awesome

 

 

 

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** Guess who just became parents!!!!!!!!!!  \\(^_^)/

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  OMG

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:** YOU GOT KNOCKED UP IN HS

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  wait… 

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** …  (¬_¬)

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  WHO GOT KNOCKED UP?!

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  golden boy jun got someone pregnant?!

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  i cannot believe this!!!!

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** idk if i should be glad that at least someone remembers i can’t get pregnant…

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:** well you can’t really expect me to think straight when you drop that kinda bomb out of the blue

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING FROM HEALTH CLASS

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** you don’t need health class to know basic human anatomy

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  IM TALKING ABOUT PROTECTION!!! so irresponsible!

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** you guys suck

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** i don’t even want to tell you anymore ╥﹏╥

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  WH AT IS THIS

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  WHO IS SHE!

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  THIS IS NOTHING TO BE PROUD OF

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  never thought i’d see this day… 

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  how did you manage to hide it from me?

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR THIS

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  TEEN PREGNANCY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR THIRST FOR GOSSIP GDI

**TheJoshMan:**  ok, guys, let’s just calm down and resolve this matter together

**TheJoshMan:**  jun seems happy, shouldn’t we be supportive of his news?

**Infinite-Snark:**  wow. you fucked up

**Hansol &GreatAL:** 0_0

**Hansol &GreatAL: **wow man… uh… congrats?

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  DONT CONGRATULATE HIM

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  calm down before you get a stroke old man

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  SHUT UP

**TheJoshMan:**  what’s done done. we can only offer support now

**Dinos_R_awesome:**  wait what happened?

**Dinos_R_awesome:**  let me scroll up

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  NOOOOOOOO

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  this is not a convo for children!

**Dinos_R_awesome:**  im not a kid!

**GyuTheBest:**  GOOD NEWS EVERYONE

**GyuTheBest:**  I baked my first soufflé today!

**GyuTheBest:**  (≧∀≦)

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  cool! maybe you can throw jun a baby shower!

**GyuTheBest:**  huh? what baby? jun has a baby????

**Infinite-Snark:**  damn ur slow

**GyuTheBest:**  I am not!

**GyuTheBest:**  stop being mean to me!

**Infinite-Snark:**  how about no

**GyuTheBest:**  Hmph!

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  stop talking nonsense

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  jun! start talking! how could you let this happen! who is she?!

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  do we know her? how far along is she?

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  does she go to our school?

**Mr_Sunshine☀** **:** wow! what’s going on? do we have a new student or something?

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  -____-

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  does no one read the chat

**Mr_Sunshine☀** **:**  lol. sorry sorry! you guys keep talking i’ll catch up

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  JUN GOT A GIRL PREGNANT AnD WE NEED TO KNOW THE DETAILS

**Mr_Sunshine☀** **:**  oh….

**Books >Life**: wtf

**Books >Life**: JUN!

**Books >Life**: you can’t just announce it like that! gdi

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  Jun????? where are you buddy?

**FaBOOlous_kwan:** maybe he went to see his secret gf

**Books >Life**: he doesn’t have a gf

**Books >Life**: and he didn’t get anyone pregnant

**Books >Life**: god this is stupid

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** YOU GUYS ARE THE WORST

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  JUNNIE!

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE DIDN’T GET ANYONE PREGNANT?!

**Books >Life**: stop using cap locks pls

**Books >Life**: i mean exactly that

**Books >Life**: we got partnered for a project. the “baby” is a bag of all purpose flour 

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  Sooooo… you and junnie are parents… to a sack of flour

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  HAHAHAHAHAHAH

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  I can’t believe this

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:** me neither

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  DONT EVER SCARE US LIKE THAT AGAIN

**TheJoshMan:**  see? everything turned out fine :D

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  how anticlimactic  (︺︹︺)

 

__________________________

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** where R U?

**Books >Life**: library

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** !!!

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** you were supposed to help me with the baby!

**Books >Life**: it’s literary a bag of flour 

**Books >Life**: you can leave it in your room for the entire semester and nothing would happen to it

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** not true!

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** we have worksheets to do too! lots of questions!

**Books >Life**: like what?

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** naming the baby

**Books >Life**: -___-

**Books >Life**: Flour Boy

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** BOOOOOOO

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** rejected

**Books >Life**: Wheatney 

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** *thumbs down* 

**Books >Life**: Dough-glas 

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** stop with the puns!

**Books >Life**: as if yours are any better 

**Books >Life**: what do you want to name it then?

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** something nice, something a little more personal

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** it’s supposed to be our baby!

**Books >Life**: fine

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** how about using our names?

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** Junwoo, Woojun, Wonhui

**Books >Life**: the last one

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** why?

**Books >Life**: different enough that it doesn’t make us sound like narcissists 

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** Wonhui it is! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** no, but seriously, we have to get these worksheets done

**Books >Life**: then come to the library. i need to start on this book report

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** k. Wonhui should get some fresh air anyway

**Books >Life**: it’s a bag of flour… 

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** you’re a terrible father ( ￣＾￣)

 

____________________________

 

**Woozi_Music1122:**  where the hell is everybody?

**Woozi_Music1122:**  practice started 10mins ago!

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** i’m on my way!

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** i was feeding Wonhui and then he needed to be changed

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  i am slightly disturbed that you fed a bag of flour and changed its diaper

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  0_0

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** no one asked your opinion

**Woozi_Music1122:**  is ww with you, jun? he’s supposed to bring the revised scripts

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** no. he’s been a dead-ass dad ever since we started the project

**Books >Life**: HEY! i am not a dead-ass father!!!

**Books >Life**: (⋋_⋌)

**Books >Life**: been busy doing actual HOMEWORK instead of playing house

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** THIS IS WORK TOO

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** you haven’t done anything for this project which is worth 60% of our grade!!!

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  i don’t think all this fighting is good for the baby

**Books >Life**: shut up kwon soonyoung!

**Woozi_Music1122:**  idc about this soap opera! get your asses over to PAC hall NOW

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:** are you sure you want me there right this minute?

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  i’m in line for donuts

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** oooooh! i want some!

**Books >Life**: who even sells donuts at 3 in the afternoon? they’re gonna be all gross

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  then you don’t get any!

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** yeah!

**Woozi_Music1122:**  OMFG

**Woozi_Music1122:**  if you don’t show up in 5 min i'm turning all of you into donuts

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  0_0

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  but the only delicious one will be wonhui

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** *gasps*

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** TAKE THAT BACK!

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** KEEP MY BABY OUT OF THIS!!!

**Books >Life**: (－‸ლ)

 

____________________________

 

**GyuTheBest:**  *sent a picture* [ _black forest cake_ ]

**GyuTheBest:**  how does it look?

**Mr_Sunshine☀** **:**  Whoa!!!! 

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  impressive!

**Mr_Sunshine☀** **:**  you made that?

**GyuTheBest:**  yup!

**GyuTheBest:**  we were supposed to make a pound cake, but that’s kinda boring, so ta-dah!

**Hansol &GreatAL:** can i get some?

**Mr_Sunshine☀** **:**  me toooooo!

**Dinos_R_awesome:** me three!!!

**GyuTheBest:**  sure! (•‿•)

**GyuTheBest:**  if anyone wants a taste, i’ll be waiting in room 400

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  Translation: Minghao! pls come! i made this cake just for youuuuuu (♥‿♥)

**GyuTheBest:**  HEY!

**GyuTheBest:**  that’s not true!

**GyuTheBest:**  this was for class! I wanted to impress the teacher! HONEST!

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  is your teacher’s name Xu Minghao?

**Hansol &GreatAL:** LOL

**Mr_Sunshine☀** **:**  LOL

**Dinos_R_awesome:** wow...

**Hansol &GreatAL:** someone’s got a cruuuuuush  *｡.｡･*♥(´ε｀*)♥*｡.｡･*

**Mr_Sunshine** **☀**   **:**  Mingyu and Minghao sitting in a tree, K I S S I N G

**GyuTheBest:**  nooooooooo

**GyuTheBest:**  need

**GyuTheBest:**  to

**GyuTheBest:**  hide

**GyuTheBest:**  this

**GyuTheBest:**  !!!

**GyuTheBest:**  Minghao don’t read this!

**Infinite-Snark:**  too late

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  woomp woomp woomp…

**Hansol &GreatAL:** yikes!

**Hansol &GreatAL:** wait does that mean we can’t get any cake?

**Infinite-Snark:**  don’t mind me

**Infinite-Snark:**  i wasn’t gonna go see him anyway

**Hansol &GreatAL:** AWESOME

**Hansol &GreatAL:** well not for mingyu. but CAKEEEEE

**GyuTheBest:**  :C

**GyuTheBest:**  why won’t you come?

**GyuTheBest:**  I sweat it’s delicious! i poured all my love into it!

**GyuTheBest:**  swear*

**Infinite-Snark:** gross

**GyuTheBest:**  (つ﹏<。)

**Mr_Sunshine☀** **:**  oh come on, Minghao

**Mr_Sunshine☀** **:**  he said he made it for you!

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  no, he said he made it for the teacher

**Mr_Sunshine☀** **:**  wait, so he has a crush on his teacher?!

**Mr_Sunshine☀** **:**  *gasps*

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  -__-

**Hansol &GreatAL:** LOL

**GyuTheBest:**  Jun is right. you guys suck!

**Infinite-Snark:**  then go bake him a cake

**GyuTheBest:**  Oooh! are you jealous?

**Infinite-Snark:** (¬_¬)

**Infinite-Snark:**  as if!

**Infinite-Snark:**  besides, he’s way too busy turning into a dad to care about your cakes

**Hansol &GreatAL:** Jun cooks too, so i don’t think he’d be impressed with cake

**Hansol &GreatAL:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  considering he threw a fit when Soonyoung brought donuts, i doubt he’ll be happy seeing his baby dressed in frosting

**GyuTheBest:**  ok, well, I’m not baking him any cake

**GyuTheBest:**  Minghaooooooo

**GyuTheBest:**  i worked really hard!!!

**Infinite-Snark:**  even if i wanted to, i can’t

**Infinite-Snark:**  i gotta finish this project

**Mr_Sunshine☀** **:**  oh! why don’t you go help him mingyu!

**GyuTheBest:** … no

**Hansol &GreatAL: (･o･;)**

**FaBOOlous_kwan: \\(*0*)/**

**Mr_Sunshine☀** **:**  *GASPS*

**Dinos_R_awesome:** never thought i’d see this...

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  why not?!

**GyuTheBest:**  the last time i helped, he made me stand in for his mannequin and kept poking me with pins!

**Infinite-Snark:**  HA! oh yeah that was funny

**GyuTheBest:**  NO! It hurt!

**Infinite-Snark:** (¬‿¬)

**Infinite-Snark:**  not that this isn’t fun. but i gotta go

**GyuTheBest:**  wait!

**Infinite-Snark:**  what?

**GyuTheBest:**  um… which room are you in?

**FaBOOlous_kwan:** oh my god…

**Mr_Sunshine☀** **:**  ah the power of love! (♥‿♥)

**Hansol &GreatAL:** more like the power of boners

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  INAPPROPRIATE

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  THIS CHATROOM IS NOW CLOSED

**Hansol &GreatAL:** wait! what about my cake?

 

____________________________

 

☾ **Meown_Junnie:**  ♫ rockabye baby on the treetop ♪

☾ **Meown_Junnie: ♫** i’m really sorry that your dad is a flop ♪

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  are you talking about you or ww?

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** ww obvs

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** i’m a great dad! but it’s kinda lonely

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** （>﹏<）

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** this must be what its like to be a stay at home parent while your husband pursues a career

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  well you know what they say… 

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  when the cat is away, the mice will play (◕‿↼)

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  wanna come hang out? you can give me ur opinion on the choreo too

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** idk…

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  come on dude! it’s baby friendly!

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  ooooooo

**FaBOOlous_kwan:** my drama senses are tingling!

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  oh shush you!

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  Junnie, you coming?

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** ok

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  hurray!

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  UR A HOMEWRECKER

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  it’s not like WW will know anyway

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  I’ll finally have something over him!

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  mwuaahahha

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** (¬_¬)

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** are Wonhui and me just pawns in your silly battles with ww?

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  of course not, babe! (づ￣ ³￣)づ

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** somehow i don’t believe it

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  stay away while you can Jun!

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** but then WW will never know what he’s missing if i just let him get away with it

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  that’s RIGHT!

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  come join me with the baby! C:

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  let’s have fun without boring ww

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  WOOT WOOT

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  … 0_0

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  looks like when the cat is away, the mice go play with the hamster… 

 

_____________________________

 

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  what is all of this sudden influx of drama?

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  i’ve been gone for a day bc of exams and i already left out of the loop

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  I’m*

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  you’ve actually been studying?

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  is the world ending soon?

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  ^^^

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  not even worth responding 

**TheJoshMan:**  shouldn’t we be trying to ease the tension?

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  i’m already on it Shua!

 **Angel** ♡ **Hannie:** (◡‿◡)

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  i have a bad feeling about this…

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  you sure it’s not indigestion?

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  WHAT!

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  Seungkwannie~ 

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  yes?

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  don’t let me down now…

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  don’t worry, i gotcha!

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  *sent a picture* [ _Junhui is wearing a baby Bjorn with Wonhui strapped to his chest, laughing and dancing along with Soonyoung on the Quad_ ]

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:** (⌒▽⌒) that’s my kid! proud of you kwannie!

**TheJoshMan:**  awwww

**TheJoshMan:**  how adorable!

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  i call it: The Mice and the Hamster. or actually, kitten is more fitting for junnie  /ᐠ.ꞈ.ᐟ\

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  more like 'trouble in the WonHui household'

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  keep up, old man! WonHui’s the baby’s name

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  then its… the Jen household? Weon? 

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:** (¬_¬)

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  anyway, good job Kwannie! 

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  another good shot to add to the collection

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  i’m still disturbed about your weird hobby

**TheJoshMan:**  yeah… it’s not nice

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  oh hush

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  it’s harmless

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  you have an entire folder named BLACKMAIL. it’s the FURTHEST thing from harmless

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  should i browse for the shots i have of you???

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  0_0

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  WHAT IS THIS BETRAYAL?!

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  hehehehe

**TheJoshMan:**  how is this helping the kids out?

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  i’m working on it

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  i’m getting a headache  (◞‸◟)

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  told you you were getting old

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  I AM NOT OLD

**TheJoshMan:**  so where’s jun now? does wonu know yet?

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  not yet

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  he was hanging out with Soonyoung for a bit, but then Jihoon showed up and made him work on the choreo

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  jun end up leaving with him so to not distract Soonyoung anymore

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  btw WZ said he emailed us the new lyrics to learn by next rehearsal

 

___________________________

 

**Woozi_Music1122:**  WW come and collect your BF

**Woozi_Music1122:**  he’s been moping all afternoon, singing every known lullabies in existence 

**Woozi_Music1122:**  and i cannot concentrate

**Books >Life:** hes not my bf

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  oooh!

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  then i’ll date him! we’ll rename the baby SoonHui  (づ￣ ³￣)づ

**Books >Life**: GET LOST KWON SOONYOUNG

**FaBOOlous_kwan:** somebody’s getting jealous…  (¬‿¬)

**Books >Life**: shut the fuck up

**TheJoshMan:**  LANGUAGE!

**Woozi_Music1122:**  idc who but SOMEONE better come get him b4 i kick him out!!!

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  already on my way~

**Books >Life**: don’t you dare

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  what are you gonna do about it? Hmm???

**Books >Life**: Seungkwan, you still have those pics right?

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  oh NOW he asks for me

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  how freakin RUDE

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  *hair flip* ( ￣＾￣)

**Books >Life**: do you, or do you not

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  i do…

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:** (・・；) what pics?

**Books >Life**:  (¬‿¬)

**Books >Life**: it has to do with WZ’s coke bottles and a handful of mentos

**Books >Life**: and why his driveway was all sticky

**Woozi_Music1122:** WTF

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  LOL

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  a man scorned a thing to be feared

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  is*

**Books >Life**: that’s not how the saying goes…

**Books >Life**: but whatever. you’ll never win against me KSY

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:** ╥﹏╥

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  poor junnie is married to such an evil guy

**Woozi_Music1122:** i better see 2 bottles of coke by my locker tomorrow or you’re dead

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:** ╥﹏╥

**Woozi_Music1122:**  also rehearsal’s @4:00

**Woozi_Music1122:**  if you don’t show up by 4:15 I’m locking you out

 

__________________________

 

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** anyone wants mac’n cheese?

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** i accidentally made too much

**Hansol &GreatAL:** I DO!

**Hansol &GreatAL:** i never got to eat Mingyu’s cake the other day

**Infinite-Snark:**  why’d you make mac’n cheese anyway?

**Infinite-Snark:**  at 2pm on a saturday… 

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** i was stressed cooking

**Infinite-Snark:**   (◔̯◔)

**Infinite-Snark:** is this about WW again?

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  it’s always about him…

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  when are you gonna admit that you like each other?

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** *gasps*

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** I DO NOT

**Infinite-Snark:**  mhm… sure sure

**Hansol &GreatAL:** so can i come to ur house? i’m hungry

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** of course~! you can play with WonHui too

**Hansol &GreatAL:** ^.^

**Mr_Sunshine☀** **:** can i come too?

**Mr_Sunshine☀** **:**  i’ll sing for the baby~ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** hurray!  (◠‿◠✿)

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** kinda sad that wonhui’s uncles worry more about him than his own father, though…

**Dinos_R_awesome:** i wish i could go too! 

**Dinos_R_awesome:** the tutoring session is so boring

**☾Meown_Junnie:** aww! i’ll save you some!

**Dinos_R_awesome:** YAY!!! well, gotta go back to class now… 

**☾Meown_Junnie:** at least SOME people appreciate my cooking

**Infinite-Snark:**  what are you even doing home?

**Infinite-Snark:**  didn’t you say you had to run errands as part of your worksheets?

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** yeah… but ww said to wait until he finishes his lit hw first

**Infinite-Snark:**  so where is he?

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** in my room

**Infinite-Snark:**  for someone who claims not to be dating you he sure acts like a possessive bf…

**Books >Life**: i just don’t want him to run off and goof off again

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** what are you doing on here?!

**Books >Life**: how am i supposed to focus on my reading when my phone keeps exploding with notifications?

**Infinite-Snark:**  you can just turn them off… 

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  it’s just an excuse to butt into the convo to make sure J isn’t cheating on him again

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** I'VE NEVER CHEATED IN MY LIFE

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** i’m not hannie…

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  HEY!

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  don’t pretend my cheating didn’t benefit all of you at one point or another

**Books >Life**: why am i hearing hansol and seokmin’s voices???

**Books >Life**: 0_0

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  oooooh! he’s not denying my point! 

**FaBOOlous_kwan:** how paranoid and possessive. sheesh!

**Books >Life**: what are they doing here?

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  didn’t read the earlier transcript?

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  you*

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  jun invited them over for his mac’n cheese

**Books >Life**: WHAT

**Books >Life**: why aren’t i getting anything? i’ve been starving since morning!

**Infinite-Snark:**  maybe bc you locked yourself away

**Books >Life**: they’re laughing… why are they laughing? it’s mac’n cheese. what are they doing in that kitchen?

**Infinite-Snark:** … just open the door and look?

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  tell us what you see!!!

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  YES

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  i can’t believe ur still trying to spy on the kids

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  shhhhh! no one asked you

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  *sigh*

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  it’s been a while… do you think they’re fighting? 0_0

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  *gasp*

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  i can't believe ww would hit the kids...

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:** I WANT TO BE THERE TO SEE IT

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  this is not something we should be supporting!!!

**Infinite-Snark:**  i doubt WW has the heart to hit his dongsaengs 

**GyuTheBest:** how did this go from mac’n cheese to WW fighting?

**GyuTheBest:**  i bet my mac’n cheese tastes better anyhow

**Infinite-Snark:** no one cares

**GyuTheBest:**  Hmph! 

☾ **Meown_Junnie:** *sent a picture* [ _Hansol and Seokmin are sitting at kitchen counter laughing, showing off the tray of mac’n cheese. WonHui is sitting between them, wearing a light blue beanie. Wonwoo is at the other end, books and laptop spread in front, glaring at the rest of them. There is also a plate of mac'n cheese by his elbow._ ]

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  wow… 

**Infinite-Snark:**  ww looks like he has a bad tummy ache LOL. look at that sour expression!

**GyuTheBest:**  maybe he ate a piece of the mac’n cheese

**Infinite-Snark:**  would you knock it off already!

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  wait, so what happened? Jun get back to the chat!

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  if he’s not checking the chat, he can’t possibly see that msg…

**Hansol &GreatAL:** jun’s mac’n cheese is really good! (^_^)

**GyuTheBest:** but not as good as mine, right?

**Hansol &GreatAL:** idk… never got to eat anything you cooked. you always leave to see Minghao before i can get there

**GyuTheBest:**   (〃ー〃)

**Infinite-Snark:** HAHAHAHAHHA

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  SO WHAT HAPPENED?! 

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  pls chill

**Hansol &GreatAL:** what do you mean? we’re just eating. Seokmin is singing to the baby

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  did WW say anything?

**Hansol &GreatAL:** no. he just burst out of the room and demanded to eat. i think he’s doing hw, but he keeps glaring at jun… 

**FaBOOlous_kwan:** LOL

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  Hansol, i now name you my official scene reporter

**Hansol &GreatAL:** huh?

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  you be my eyes and ears, kid. tell us what’s going on!

**Hansol &GreatAL:** oh

**Hansol &GreatAL:** well, not much

**Hansol &GreatAL:** oh wait. he just made DK stop singing =/

**Hansol &GreatAL:** j told ww to be nice. ww is scowling again. DK pretended to go to the bathroom. i think he’s hiding in there

**Hansol &GreatAL:** i’m hiding behind the couch. i think J & WW forgot I’m here. they’re yelling at each other

**Hansol &GreatAL:** ww is accusing j of cheating. j says it’s a loveless marriage anyway. ww is pissed

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  OMG

**GyuTheBest:** what kind of cheesy soap opera is this?

**Infinite-Snark:**  don’t read then

**GyuTheBest:**  but i wanna know too

**Infinite-Snark:**  then shut up

**Hansol &GreatAL:** 0_0

**Hansol &GreatAL:** ww has j cornered against the counter

**FaBOOlous_kwan: (ʘᗩʘ’)**

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:** OMGGGGGG

**Hansol &GreatAL:** j is VERY red. i think he might pass out

**Hansol &GreatAL:** i don’t think i can watch this

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:** DON’T YOU DARE STOP

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  YOU HAVE TO KEEP WATCHING

**Hansol &GreatAL:** （/｡＼)

**Hansol &GreatAL:**

                          ww-do u really think i don’t care about u?

                            j-well u always act like its a chore. i kno u hate this project

                          ww-bc its dumb. why do you like it so much?

                            j-bc... (ww isn’t letting j leave. ww pulled him back)

                          ww-bc what?

                            j-bc i like spending time with you! i thought it’d be fun to play house with u but u hate it and i don’t wanna play anymore

**Hansol &GreatAL:** shit

**Hansol &GreatAL:** j’s crying. he pushed ww away and ran to his room. ww is just standing there, blanking out

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  shit

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  omg…

**Infinite-Snark:** what a mess. idiots!

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  he should be running after jun! WHAT IS HE THINKING

**Hansol &GreatAL:** he just went into the backyard

 

_Entering Private Chat_

_11 people have been added_

 

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  hansol

**Hansol &GreatAL:** yes?

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  is the baby still there?

**Hansol &GreatAL:** yeah

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  take it

**Hansol &GreatAL:** huh?

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  take the baby and come to my house. these idiots aren’t going to solve this w/o our help

**Hansol &GreatAL:** i don’t think that’s a good idea…

**Infinite-Snark:** i agree

**GyuTheBest:**  me too

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  ^^^ you’re just agreeing bc MH is

**GyuTheBest:**  not true!

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  DO IT BEFORE THEY COME BACK

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  oh, and don’t forget to get DK

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  now GO!

 

_____________________________

 

**Books >Life**: ok. which one of you assholes took the baby?

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  oh no! is the baby missing? 

**FaBOOlous_kwan:** how is that possible?!

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  WHAT

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  it’s always stuck to Junnie

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  HOW DID IT GO MISSING

**Books >Life**: I KNOW ONE OF YOU HAS IT

**Books >Life**: GIVE IT BACK

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  why would we have jun’s baby?

**Books >Life**: WHO THE HELL KNOWS WHAT YOUR TWISTED MIND THOUGHT OF

**Books >Life**: and it’s mine too! my grade depends on it!

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  wow… and here i thought you finally bonded with the little doughboy

**Books >Life**: shut up

**Books >Life**: Jun’s been freaking out about this. GIVE IT BACK!

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  we don’t have your baby! CALM DOWN

**Books >Life**: I KNOW it has to be either Hansol or Seokmin

**Hansol &GreatAL:** um… i didn’t do anything  (・・；)

**Books >Life**: idc if ur jun’s favorite dongsaeng i will kick ur ass. same goes for you seokmin!

**Hansol &GreatAL:** ヽ(ﾟДﾟ)ﾉ

**Mr_Sunshine** **☀**   **:**  i swear i have nothing to do with this!!! 

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  don’t threaten the kids （   ･`ー･´）

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  if it’s just your grade your worried about, just go buy another bag of flour

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  you’re*

**Books >Life**: no

**Books >Life**: jun will know it’s not “his” 

**Hansol &GreatAL:** um.. how is jun doing?

**Books >Life**: what do you think?

**Books >Life**: he was so agitated i had to slip a sleeping pill into his drink

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  0_0

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  you better not take advantage of the situation dude

**Books >Life**: GRRRRRR

**Woozi_Music1122:**  stop this baby drama

**Woozi_Music1122:**  rehearsal in 15min

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  have you no heart jihoonie? 

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  how can jun act and sing when his baby was kidnapped?

**Dinos_R_awesome:** poor Jun… (ノ﹏ヽ)

**Woozi_Music1122:**  you guys are even dumber than i thought

**Woozi_Music1122:**  ww wake jun up. the rest of you, bring the baby to rehearsal and give it back to its parents

**FaBOOlous_kwan:** we don’t have the baby!!!

**Books >Life**: i hate all of you

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  i knew i shouldn’t have left the chatroom yesterday…

**TheJoshMan:**  now lets just stay calm. I’m sure the baby is safe wherever it is

**Books >Life**: it better be or you’re all dead

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:** never seen ww so vicious before （´〇｀）

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  well his bf is distraught

**Infinite-Snark:**  wow. I’m impressed you know how to use ‘distraught’ correctly

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  excuse you! my vocab is the best quality

**Infinite-Snark:** ◔̯◔

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  no one is killing anyone. let’s just all go to rehearsal for now and we can talk about it there

 

___________________________

 

_ Entering Private Chat _

_ 11 people have been added _

 

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  i still don’t think this is a good idea

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  what are you talking about? it’s a great idea!

**TheJoshMan:**  i’m gonna pray for the best  (｡-_-｡)

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  i don’t understand why i couldn’t have been the one to go with them

**Woozi_Music1122:**  bc you’re loud and obnoxious

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  rude!

**Woozi_Music1122:**  what i want to know is why i’m forced to get involved

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  bc we’re all in this together

**Mr_Sunshine☀** **:** ♫ WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER! GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME JIHOON! ♫

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  you gotta ♫ BET ON IT BET ON IT ♫

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:** (⌒▽⌒)

**Woozi_Music1122:** ◔̯◔

**Infinite-Snark:**  are seungkwan and chan there yet?

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  we haven’t heard anything yet

**Hansol &GreatAL:** i just hope it works out. i don’t want to be at the receiving end of ww’s glare anymore

**TheJoshMan:**  ww isn’t violent. don’t worry hansol

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  i wouldn’t be so sure

**Hansol &GreatAL:** 0_0

**Hansol &GreatAL:** what if he finds out i’m the one who took the baby? i’m dead meat…

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:** well, if everything goes according to plan, he’ll be too busy making out with jun to worry about that

**Infinite-Snark:**  gross!

**GyuTheBest:**  i second that motion

**Infinite-Snark:**  why are you online? we’re literally in the same room

**GyuTheBest:**  i don’t like to be left out

**Infinite-Snark:** ◔̯◔

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  talk about another odd couple… 

**Dinos_R_awesome:**  we’re here!

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  agent Boo reporting for duty!

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  ah, finally! what’s happening?

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  let the circus begin… -_____-

**Dinos_R_awesome:** they have gotten the note with the clues, and they’re reading through it

**FaBOOlous_kwan:** they’re standing very close  (¬‿¬)

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  of course. i didn’t print it out in size 9 font for nothing  (◕‿↼)

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  they’re walking through the park, searching for the right tree

**Dinos_R_awesome:**  they found the balloon!!! they’re discussing who should give the other a piggy back lift to get it

**Dinos_R_awesome:**  ww’s climbing on j!

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  that sounds so wrong… (/ω＼)

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  they got the balloon. ww is as red as the rubber LOL

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:** good good

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  keep going my children… (¬‿¬)

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  that is so creepy…

**TheJoshMan:**  technically, we’re all creeps for putting up this game and spying on them

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  it’s worth it. they’ll thank us later

**Infinite-Snark:**  i somehow doubt it…

**Dinos_R_awesome:**  they’re getting to the creek

**Dinos_R_awesome:** J goes first, jumping on the little rocks. oooh! ww’s reflexes are like lightning! he caught him!

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  *sent a picture* [ _Wonwoo has both hands around Junhui’s waist, steadying him. Junhui's back is pressed to Wonwoo's chest. The two are staring at each other with wide and dazed eyes._ ]

**Hansol &GreatAL:** whoa

**Mr_Sunshine☀** **:** ﾟ*｡(･∀･)ﾟ*｡

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:** (◕ヮ◕)

**Dinos_R_awesome:**  they’re on the other side now, but ww is still holding j’s hand

**Dinos_R_awesome:**  j is getting the next clue

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  OMG

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  it’s like nature is helping! flower petals are falling bc of the wind and ww is reaching for j’s hair to pick them out   (◔◡◔✿)

**Dinos_R_awesome:**  j is blushing like crazy. LOL. he turns away and leads them onward, still holding hands

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  pls don’t let this jinx it. but it’s going better than i expected

 **Angel** ♡ **Hannie:** of course. i planned it  (´∀｀)

**Mr_Sunshine☀** **:**  hannie is so good!

 **Angel** ♡ **Hannie:** (◡‿◡)

**Dinos_R_awesome:**  they found the cotton candy seller. buying it now

**GyuTheBest:**  how did you know the cotton candy man would even be at the park?

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  trade secrets

**Woozi_Music1122:**  translation—he totally winged it

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  !!! 

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  you’re still here! i thought you left

**Woozi_Music1122:**  i’m just waiting for this train wreck to be over

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  awww, don’t lie. we know you care

**Woozi_Music1122:** ◔̯◔

**Dinos_R_awesome:**  they’re talking and laughing. that’s a lot of cotton candy. even for 2 ppl to eat

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  what’s the purpose of making them eat it?

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  you’ll see, old man

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  stop calling me old!

**Dinos_R_awesome:**  they found the hidden box. taking out the pocky now

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  you’re making them play the pocky game?

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  yep

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  you can’t resist cotton candy lips. one of them is gonna have to cave and kiss the other

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  then our job will be done!

**TheJoshMan:**  wow… i wish you’d put as much effort into your hw instead of copying off of me…

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  not now Shua!

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  they’re so close to each other's faces!!!!

**Dinos_R_awesome:**  Seungkwan is trying to get closer to record the whole thing

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  this is so creepy…

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:**  think of it as a reality show

**Dinos_R_awesome:**  Crap crap crap!

**Dinos_R_awesome:**  they saw us!

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:** WHAT

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  RUNNNN

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  RUN FOR YOUR LIFE

**Mr_Sunshine☀** **:**  drop everything! save yourselves!!!

**Hansol &GreatAL:** we’re all dead if ww catches them

**Infinite-Snark:** can’t say i didn’t expect it

**GyuTheBest: （/｡＼)**

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  *sent a video* [ _Wonwoo and Junhui are laughing softly, a little shy. Junhui is holding the longer piece of pocky between his teeth, giggling. He does a little cheer for winning, then pops it into his mouth. Wonwoo cracks a smile, a very tender and fond expression on his face. He reaches forward to brush the corner of Junhui’s mouth with his thumb. Their gazes lock. Wonwoo leans into Junhui. The moment their lips brush together, a rustling sound coming from the camera interrupts them. The camera wobbles. The couple notice the spies. Junhui blushes furiously and covers his face. Wonwoo's eyes widen in shock, then he lunges for them. Seungkwan and Chan can be heard screaming as they run away. The video cuts off._ ]

**Angel** ♡ **Hannie:** omg... 

♕ **Great_Leader_Coups:**  this is a disaster

**Mr_Sunshine☀** **:**  uh oh... 

**St★** **rsHosh@10:10:**  wait, so does that mean they kissed or not?

**Infinite-Snark:** shouldn't we be worried about whether or not the boys are still alive?

**GyuTheBest:** Jun wouldn't let wonu kill them, right?

**TheJoshMan:**  we can only hope... 

**Hansol &GreatAL:** seungkwan? you ok buddy?

**Hansol &GreatAL:** Chan? where are you?

**FaBOOlous_kwan:**  *sent a picture* [ _It's a selfie with Seungkwan in front, wearing an air of trepidation as he points behind him. Chan is standing on the side, giving thumbs up, but his eyes are full of fear as he stares at the new couple. Junhui is holding Wonhui, grinning happily as he leans into Wonwoo, head resting on the shoulder. Wonwoo has an arm around Junhui’s shoulder, and he’s glowering at the camera._ ]

**Woozi_Music1122:** now that the whole fiasco is over, and the idiots got together, i expect everyone to know their lines and come to rehearsal on time

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea what this is... I have no excuse...
> 
> *Returns to my cave*


End file.
